My "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" Number ...

Okay ... so this "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" concept has ALWAYS made me smile ...

... and while the "game" really only applies to those who are in the entertainment field, I know that there are others who feel that it SHOULD apply to all of us ... the "lay" people of the planet.

I have to admit ... I know I have a pretty good Bacon Number ... I'm a 3! :)

Here's how it works ... according to the above linked Wikipedia page:

"Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon is a parlour game based on the "six degrees of separation" concept, which posits that any two people on Earth are six or fewer acquaintance links apart. That idea eventually morphed into this parlour game wherein movie buffs challenge each other to find the shortest path between an arbitrary actor and prolific Hollywood character actor Kevin Bacon. It rests on the assumption that any individual involved in the Hollywood, California, film industry can be linked through his or her film roles to Kevin Bacon within six steps. The game requires a group of players to try to connect any such individual to Kevin Bacon as quickly as possible and in as few links as possible."

So, here's how I'm linked:

0 - Kevin Bacon
1 - Tom Hanks (co-starred in "Apollo 13" with Bacon)
2 - Carla Kama AKA Carla Garrido (was in "That Thing You Do" with Tom Hanks)
3 - ME (Carla is my baby sister)

.... and ANOTHER pathway:

0 - Kevin Bacon
1 - Scott Coffey (was in "The Big Picture" with Bacon)
2 - Carla Kama/Garrido (was in "Tank Girl" with Coffey)
3 - ME! :)

So ... that was fun! ... just kinda wish I had the chance to meet some of these actors ... they are at the top of MY list! :)

Blog: What Little Girls Wish Daddies Knew ...

I saw this blog today, and I wanted to repost it ... It spoke to me ... and I thought of my own Dad and how I feel about him and how my journey has progressed in life ... and I thought of my husband, and how lucky my girls are to have him for THEIR Daddy ... :)

WHAT LITTLE GIRLS WISH DADDIES KNEW

I’m spending the morning waiting for my car in the repair shop. Four men in flannel (I missed the flannel memo) and I sit around smelling tires and inhaling exhaust fumes while an enchanting little fairy is in constant motion around her daddy. She climbs on him, giggles, turns around, and then she’s back to twirling on the tile.

She’s bouncing and spinning around in her pink frilly skirt. Her black cable knit tights are sagging around her tiny knees, and her puffy coat makes her arms stand out further than is natural. To top off the ensemble is a shiny crystal tiara. It’s been tacked down to her head with what appears to be about 60 haphazard bobby pins.

She’s probably four years old. So little, so vulnerable. She doesn’t seem concerned about it as she sings about teapots and ladybugs in her black Mary Janes. I feel myself tear up as I watch her. I tear up as I watch him watch her. She could not possibly know at four what impact this man, his character, or his words will have on her for years to come. And, maybe he doesn’t know either.

So, to all the daddies with little girls who aren’t old enough yet to ask for what they need from you, here is what we wish you knew:

1. How you love me is how I will love myself.
2. Ask how I am feeling and listen to my answer, I need to know you value me before I can understand my true value.
3. I learn how I should be treated by how you treat my mom, whether you are married to her or not.
4. If you are angry with me, I feel it even if I don’t understand it, so talk to me.
5. Every time you show grace to me or someone else, I learn to trust God a little more.
6. I need to experience your nurturing physical strength, so I learn to trust the physicality of men.
7. Please don’t talk about sex like a teenage boy, or I think it’s something dirty.
8. When your tone is gentle, I understand what you are saying much better.
9. How you talk about female bodies when you’re ‘just joking’ is what I believe about my own.
10. How you handle my heart, is how I will allow it to be handled by others.
11. If you encourage me to find what brings joy, I will always seek it.
12. If you teach me what safe feels like when I’m with you, I will know better how to guard myself from men who are not.
13. Teach me a love of art, science, and nature, and I will learn that intellect matters more than dress size.
14. Let me say exactly what I want even if it’s wrong or silly, because I need to know having a strong voice is acceptable to you.
15. When I get older, if you seem afraid of my changing body, I will believe something is wrong with it.
16. If you understand contentment for yourself, so will I.
17. When I ask you to let go, please remain available; I will always come back and need you if you do.
18. If you demonstrate tenderness, I learn to embrace my own vulnerability rather than fear it.
19. When you let me help fix the car and paint the house, I will believe I can do anything a boy can do.
20. When you protect my femininity, I learn everything about me is worthy of protecting.
21. How you treat our dog when you think I’m not watching tells me more about you than does just about anything else.
22. Don’t let money be everything, or I learn not to respect it or you.
23. Hug, hold, and kiss me in all the ways a daddy does that are right and good and pure. I need it so much to understand healthy touch.
24. Please don’t lie, because I believe what you say.
25. Don’t avoid hard conversations, because it makes me believe I’m not worth fighting for.

It’s pretty simple, really. Little girls just love their daddies. They each think their daddy hung the moon. Once in a while when you look at your little gal twirling in her frilly skirt, remember she’ll be grown one day. What do you want her to know about men, life, herself, love? What you do and say now matters for a lifetime. Daddies, never underestimate the impact of your words or deeds on your daughters, no matter their age.

From: http://tarahedman.com/girls-daddies-knew/

Guam Liberation Day - July 21, 2013

Guam Liberation Day - July 21, 1944 ...

Hafa adai - Hello!

Tomorrow is the 69th anniversary of the Liberation of Guam by the US Military - although at the time this will be published, it will already be "the" day - on Guam, "Where America's Day Begin's ... "

The island became an American territory in the late 1800's, and was under American rule, except for the years 1941-1944, when it was under Japanese occupation. I write this as a proud daughter, granddaughter, and niece to the many members of my family who witnessed this event ... and who suffered through the horrendous Japanese occupation during World War II. I can only imagine how they coped with the situation. I salute those, both military and civilian, who gave their lives to free my family, my people ... and I humbly sit at the feet of those who endured the horrors of being interred in the concentration camps. They were equally as brutal as those in Europe, though not as well published. I am blessed to know that I will NEVER have to suffer what my family did, because of the sacrifices already made.


First Flag raised on Guam



My father doesn't talk too much of what went on during that time in his life. He was born in 1939, and by the time the Japanese invaded the island in 1941, not long after the attack on Pearl Harbor, he was 2-years-old, the 5th child of 7. His youngest sister was an infant, and his mom was pregnant with his youngest brother. I remember the stories my Dad told me of the entire family being herded into Manengon Concentration Camp, and of their long trek, walking to it ... of how all of the children (and adults) had to be quiet, and be respectful, obey, and bow to the Japanese soldiers ... lest they succumb to beatings or even death by bayonet. I know that a vast majority of the "strong and virile" men were taken into the caves at the beach and beheaded. It was certainly no way to live as a child ... or as a human being.


Asan Landing



Dad's youngest brother [Francisco Lizama Taitano] was born, although he died from malnutrition in the camp, and was buried - somewhere unknown - as the family marched along the camp trail. His mom soon followed in death, as she had an illness following Uncle Frankie's birth, and was discharged from the hospital to make way for the Japanese military wounded. We don't know where Grandma [Joaquina Crisostomo Lizama] is buried to this day. My father told me that as the family was on the way to the family cemetery with her, ready for burial, the bombings began, and so they buried her quickly at the side of the road, and went to safety. When they returned, the geography was unrecognizable from the bombing raid, and they never found her to bury her properly. Dad told me stories of how Grandpa [Carlos Flores Taitano] would swim underwater in the river that ran through the camp, and leave to go get food for everyone and return. His comings and goings were not noticed by the soldiers guarding them ... but he would do that, sacrifice HIS safety, to keep his family, and as many others as possible, adequately fed.

Our family was quite prominent on the island ... and they owned several large tracts of land, and served within the government. During the occupation, the Japanese forced my family, and many others to convert our land in the central portion of Guam into an airfield. This land eventually became Harmon Field. My family broke their backs working. When the American military came, they took some of our land at the northern end of the island to establish the Air Force Base.


Showing the Colors



I remember stories my Dad told me, of his blind Grandfather [Juan San Nicolas Taitano] and how Dad went out to save him, leading him to safety, when he saw bullets striking the grass around him, from airplanes flying above. He told me he would lay in the long grass above the beach, obscured from view, and watch the military planes fly over his head. He also told me that when the US Military finally did come and liberate the island, he would sing and dance to amuse the soldiers.


Guam Liberation Memorial



There are so many things to be thankful for ... for the fact that my family got through this experience, despite their losses, as strong and as "ornery" as ever. Having lived through this, obviously made all of the Guamanians (known as Chamorros) VERY pro-American, and I don't doubt that the vast majority of them joined the US military as a result ...as did my Dad. Guam is still a Trust Territory of the United States, and the Guam Organic Act of 1950, signed into law by President Harry S. Truman, provided US Citizenship to the residents of Guam. Many interesting war-related relics STILL pepper the island to this day ... and the well-known story of Sgt. Yokoi, the Japanese soldier, who hid out in the Guam boonies (jungle) until 1973 - not knowing the war was over - is always retold. What I have learned, based on their experiences, is the resilience and strength of my family, my people.

I will close with love and rememberance on this special day on my Island of Guam ... to my family, I send love ... to those who were involved in the liberation - and to their families who sacrificed - I send my unending gratitude.

Si Yu'us ma'ase - Thank you

"Spam" ... because I can ... and as a wink to my Chamorro Family/Friends ...

Photo Credits:
Guam Historical Photo's: Guampedia.com

Guam Spam: Tumblr

For Louise ...

I never called her Louise ... that, of course WAS her name. She was my mother-in-law. I never REALLY called her "Mom" to her face ... well, maybe I did call her that in the early days, trying to figure out married life and how our relationship was going to work. When the children came along, I called her "Grandma". It was easier. She understood ... she told me she did. She also had a mother-in-law ... a MIL. She had been in my shoes as well.

When I became close to her son ... became engaged to her son ... and eventually married her son ... I never imagined that I would gain another mother figure as close as I did ... but, it happened ... when I really needed one. I can never express how wonderful she was ... never ...

The cliche's of MIL's ... well, she NEVER resembled them at all ... she was not a meddler or a nagger ... she was one of the sweetest ladies that ever walked the earth. All who came to know her, were truly blessed ...

I was blessed to be her only daughter-in-law ... blessed to love a son, whose mother raised him to be a gentleman, and a loving man, and a man who loved his mother in return. I was welcomed into a loving, close family ... and given 16+ ... almost 17 years in her loving grace. My two daughters have grown in her loving embrace as well. To see them flourish in her love has been a true blessing.

We never had the blessing of being around "Grandpa Ryan" ... he passed away while their girls were expecting their first grand-kids ... so "Grandma Ryan" has, with her own loving spirit, been the glue that has bound the generations together. 

We were anticipating celebrating her 90th birthday on January 6th of 2013 ... but, we fell just a few months shy of that goal ...

Last night, after we had such a lovely Thanksgiving Day celebration with her ... she took her final bow ... quietly ... gracefully ... like a lady ... without fanfare ... away from the family crowd. She had dinner at our table, and later that night, sat at the table with family she'd been separated from for such a long time.

We were lucky that she was never really sick and was always so independent for so long. She lived on her own, and not in a living facility ... she didn't have to cope with disease ... and she was as spry as ever, until her last day. She didn't suffer one minute ... just as, I am sure she, and we all, would want it.

As sad as we all are right now ... and our hearts are broken ... we are finding out how very special a lady she was to so many of us ... she was such a woman of faith, and she was sure of where she was going to be at the moment of her last breath. We rejoice in that knowledge. We know we will see her again, one day.

We sat around the table, yesterday, after saying grace, saying what we were thankful for. I recall she said she was thankful for her family, and for all of the love she felt from them. She knew how much she was loved ... and wow ... was she!

I am so thankful that we took videos of her stories this past summer ... and I am thankful that we took pictures of her around our table last evening ... and again, before she left our house to go home ... and as always, before she left the house, she hugged and kissed us, made the sign of the cross on our foreheads, we told her we loved her, and she said, "I love you more", and she told me that she'd send my love to family the next time she chatted with them. 

... and with that ... she walked out of my house ... and into forever ... 

The ER docs said it was a heart attack ... but, I am sure that God called her to heaven because her work here was done ... and (almost) 90 years is a long time to be away from home ...

She once told me that she thought that she had the BEST MIL in HER "Grandma Ryan" ... but I think she and I will have to disagree on that, because I think that MY "Grandma Ryan" has to be the BEST MIL there ever could be ... 

... and though I knew this day would eventually come ... it just hurts so bad, for everybody that this day is here. 

We don't want to have to imagine days without you ... but we know that you are in such a better place. We are better people for having had you in our lives ... and our lives are enriched for what you have brought to us. You will always be in our hearts, minds, and souls ... eternally ... We love you ...

"Grandma Ryan"

Thanksgiving Evening

11/22/2012

Heaven's Newest Angel

Setback ...

I'm a little out of sorts today ...

I had my usual doctor's appointment yesterday, and the outlook was quite good, generally, looking at my blood-work. My diabetes is coming back into control, after not having the means to manage it when we were not able to afford insurance and medical care ... that is truly good news ... but, there was other news, and I have mixed feelings about sharing it ... but here goes ...

We discovered that I have an irregular heartbeat ... I have tachycardia (fast heart beat) that has to be evaluated and treated ... and this could be the reason for my fainting, falling, etc. ... but, it is a serious issue that I am not taking lightly ... I know the consequences ...

I have been experiencing an unusual "flutter" on occasion, and mentioned it yesterday. I know, and my doctor knows, that women experience serious heart issues very differently than men do ... so she checked my pulse, and she had an EKG (electrocardiogram) done in the office ... though everything else is normal, both showed tachycardia ... and she ordered a referral to a cardiologist. I am soaking it in today, and then I will begin the search for someone who will take our insurance ...

In the back of my mind, the argument begins of economics versus health ... can we afford this? We are under insured, and we can barely afford how we live now ... how can we afford more expense now? Can I, in good faith, inflict this upon my family? What should I do? As a former cardiac nurse, I have a pretty good idea of the litany of tests that are facing me ... and their expense ... and the meds ... and their expense ... and the docs ... and their expense ... and the consequence of ignoring it altogether ...

It's literally breaking my heart ...

I know I am only one of MANY who have to make decisions like this every day ...

I only pray that I may live to see as many of my girls accomplishments as possible ...

I haven't called family/friends yet, as there is nothing yet to say until I see a doctor. My motto has always been, "Don't worry, until there is something to worry about!" We'll try to sort this all out after the holidays ...

So, I will send this "worry" of mine out into the Universe, and leave it there with my God ...

I will light a candle for my own personal intentions ...

I know that my own Guardian Angels will watch over and protect me and mine as I go forth ...

... this hardship is just earning me another diamond in my crown in heaven, right? Wow, by now, I should have a stunning, Miss/Mrs. Universe crown ... maybe a few of them!

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Grandma ...

Florencia Crisostomo Lizama Garrido

10/26/2012

Today, Grandma would be 102 years old ... 102!!!

I can't even begin to fathom that age ... wow! How much change did this lovely lady see ... and how much adversity and hardship did she endure ... and how strong was she? She was just amazing! But, she was NEVER boastful or sought out recognition. She was a true super hero ... a quiet Superwoman!

I pray that those of us who have been touched and affected by her life, will go forward with the wisdom and DIGNITY that she imparted upon us ... teaching the next generations ... NEVER forgetting where we have come from, and appreciating what we have received.

Do I remember Grandma ever celebrating her own birthday while I lived on Guam? No, I don't! Am I surprised? No, I don't think I am. I remember Grandma being a self-less woman ... never putting herself in the spotlight ... always thinking of others. Today, I spotlight YOU, Grandma. While I may not remember celebrations of YOU in my childhood, know that in my heart, you and your lessons will always remain first and foremost, and I celebrate that.

Grandma, you taught ALL of us that LOVE IS INFINITE!!! You've taught us all about love of family, and love of God ... and that this love is forever. You've shown us by your example of your own life, and the very act of what you did for my father speaks volumes to me. Know how much we love you, and that we always will.

Each October, I watch as your special day comes closer, and I think of you more and more, each year as *I* get older. I know that you watch over each of your children, grandchildren, ... and now your great-grands ... your family expands, and so does our love, respect, and admiration for you.

I will never presume to speak for anyone ... but on this, I will ... your children and your grandchildren love and miss you so much ... your great-grandchildren's world is a little less special, by not having YOU in this world. 

We know that we have you watching over us, as our own special Guardian Angel. We know we have you praying those rosaries and novenas for us, for our own special intentions. We know that, even though you are in heaven, you are still very much a big part of our lives. 

Happy Birthday, Grandma ...

... until we are all together again ...

Love Letters ...

It's been quite an emotional few days for me, and it seems for the whole country since the tragedy in Aurora, Colorado ... there have been so many things running through my heart and my head that I've been wanting to write about ... that I've been trying to organize in my brain ... 

It's funny how the Universe seems to point you in the direction you are supposed to travel and pay attention to. I've been writing about loved ones I've lost here in this blog recently ... I've been thinking about the families of those who were lost in that senseless mass shooting ... I've been worrying about my two girls and the social developments they will be ... or potentially soon will be ... making --- I've been thinking about my age and my health and worrying about how I will be able to cope with my life in the future. I worry about my husband ... his age and his health ... and how we will all be able to manage if we fall off of the tight rope we seem to be walking on ... and the whole thing scares me half to death ... but, this is where the written word has always seemed to comfort and calm ... and help me organize my thoughts and emotions. 

As fate would have it, I am reading ... and just finishing Marie Tillman's book, The Letter: My Journey Through Love, Loss & Life . Marie was married to Pat Tillman. The book describes her life after Pat, after reading the letter he left for her to read if he was killed in action, interspersed with her memories of her life with him. I am always amazed at how strong one can be when one HAS to be. I have seen it as an RN, and I see it in the story written by Marie Tillman ... and I've seen it in all of the unfortunate stories of victims of the senseless tragedies that have plagued our country over the last several years. It made me wonder how I would cope if tragedy struck my precious family ... I don't know how I would ... or could ... cope with loss of this sort at all. Even though I fear for the safety of my girls as they start to enter the social circle of malls and movies, etc., and every cell in my body wants to shield them from everything. Someone much wiser than I said that we cannot live being afraid ... we cannot live in a bubble ... we cannot stay at home and be afraid to go out to the movie theater ... or go out in a car ... or to the mall. When it is our time to go ... it is our time to go ... we cannot change that.

Pat Tillman's letter made me wonder what kind of letter I would leave behind for my loved ones to read ... I wrote something many, many years ago that needs now to be updated and revised and changed and deleted. If some unforeseen tragedy took me from my family, I would want them to have a letter from me. But what would I write now? What would I write? I would certainly leave behind love letters ... that is for sure! Perhaps something a little like this ... 

Emily Rose ... named for the beautiful flower ... my first daughter ... my first baby ... do you know how much you are loved? Nana said to me in the hospital, on the day you were born, as she watched them place you in my arms, "Now you will know how much I love you." ... and I will pass that sentiment on to you and your babies. I love your unique quirkiness ... your unbridled love of not following the crowd and creating your own joy! You are my observer ... my quiet assessor of her environment ... yet your laugh, your smile will light up a room. I am so proud of all that you have done, and are still doing ... a smart and beautiful young woman. I am confident in your future ... you can do anything you set your mind to ... you love the stage, my love ... you love videography ... find what speaks to your soul, IN ALL THINGS ... and go with it ... and you know I'll always be with you ... I adore you, my  love ... your heart is mine, my heart is yours ... I love you ...

Kristen Jade ... named for the precious gem ... my second daughter ... my baby girl ... do you know how much you are loved? I have said "I love you" to you, every day of your life. You are in my heart, and I am in yours ... for ever and ever. You are my firecracker ... my inventor ... my fearless, beautiful, intelligent girl ... there is nothing you cannot do. I love your sense of style ... your individuality ... your fashion sense ... your sense of humor ... and you have a caretaker's soul, too. You've taken great care of me ... and have lifted my spirit when it needed a boost. You've expressed a desire to become a teacher ... I wholeheartedly support that endeavor ... you've shown a love of learning ... compassionate teachers who continually learn are always successful ... and that is you, lovey ... your heart will always guide you ... I love you so much, lovey .. I adore you ... your heart is mine, my heart is yours, I am with you always ...

Jim, my love ... how do I write this? Our life together started out in friendship, and developed into this beautiful family of ours ... we have been blessed! We actually started writing "love letters" to each other ... do you remember? You used to leave notes on my car while I was in Nursing School, encouraging me along the way ... cards and letters while I lived in LA ... Love Letters for our wedding ceremony ... notes in my luggage while I traveled for work ... and notes here and there over the years. I've loved you forever ... good times and bad ... and I've always known you've loved me. How you cared for me as my health became as issue in our lives confirmed that I had found REAL LOVE in my life. Thank you for that, my love. Pat tells Marie to "... live" ... and yes, I want the VERY same for you ... show our girls our "3 Islands" ... share with them all that we have ever been able to enjoy -- music, theater, traveling --... as much as I'd want to be growing older with you, it seems that my time comes before yours, so, LIVE, and, yes ... LOVE ... and know that you are etched into my soul, and you live in my heart ... and I know that I am there, in yours. I love you , in all that I have done ... in all that have been ... in all that I have ever wanted and waited for ... my curly-haired, blue-eyed, blonde boy ... for eternity.

Oh, my goodness ... I have REALLY got to start lightening up the blog subjects! I really love exercises of examining one's soul ... but all of these purging of emotions is just exhausting ... anyone have any good dessert recipes? I'll stick to easier subjects for a bit, I think!

The Last Family Portrait ...

 

My Dad's personal story may be totally unique and foreign to those folks that live here in the USA today ... but to my family and the servicemen that lived through it on Guam, then, during WWII, it was all too real. As we approach July 21, Guam's Liberation Day holiday, the stories my father told me of that time are front and center in my mind.

• Stories of Papan Batchit, his blind grandfather, and Mama Ling, his grandmother, on their ranch before WWII and during the Japanese Occupation
• Stories of their march to Manengon, the Concentration camp during WWII
• Stories of his father always escaping the camp by swimming down the river, returning with food
• Stories of Japanese brutality in the camp
• The story of losing his mother and his newborn baby brother, and burying them in unmarked graves --- their brother during the march, and their mother during a bombing raid
• Stories of my dad singing and dancing for the soldiers

After the war, my father and his siblings, now without their mother, were divided up within the large family to be taken care of. His father remarried and started another family. He, then, died several years later, at a relatively young age, so, my father and his siblings were left without both parents. Dad was about 4 when his Mom died and was about 14 when his Dad passed away. My father and one of his sisters, had been taken in by his mother's older sister and her husband, for several years. They were a Navy family with 2 young daughters of their own, and in order to be able to continue to stay with them, now they were orphaned, travel and move around with them, they needed to be legally adopted. They got the elders in the family's permission, and changed their last names, and began a new and different chapter in their lives, with their adopted parents and siblings -- although, they always remained very close to their biological siblings.

Looking back to that time, I know we have no pictures or records of my Dad's mom ... his biological Mom ... Joaquina.

I have always been interested in genealogy and the family tree and have spent hours and hours on looking up and researching our family tree on the internet on Ancestry.com, and have incorporated and cross-referenced the records given to me from my husbands side of the family and from my Dad's side of the family in the form of Uncle Richard F. Taitano's Family Records. There is also a huge Chamorro Roots Genealogy Roots Project that is trying to help Guamanians/Chamorros with their family trees.

I had a feeling that I needed to find Joaquina ... that I needed to find her for my Dad. I knew that the 1940 Census' were being released in April ... 72 years after they had been taken, for privacy reasons ... I knew that this was the only way that I might be able to see her ... if she was there ... before the war came to Guam ... with her family surrounding her ... before they were separated and divided ...

My Dad would have been 4 months old in April of 1940. He would have been the youngest, with 4 older than him. His younger sister Connie would not have been born yet ... and the brother he lost in the war, Frankie, would not have been born, either. I asked Dad where they would have been living. He said they would have been living in either Agana or Barrigada, or they would have been down in Janum, their beach property, away from everyone, and away from the count.

I accessed the Guam 1940 census early. It was un-indexed, so I had to go through each page ... for each of the villages -- Agana and Baragada ... looking at each name for a familiar "face" in each name. I searched high and low, to no avail ... and I thought that there was no hope ... I thought that I'd never find them.

A couple of weeks later, I started looking again. I decided that I would download every single town or village in the Guam Census of 1940 and look in EVERY SINGLE page to be sure that perhaps I didn't overlook some family member. I looked in Agana ... I looked in Baragada ... and I wondered why I didn't see any familiar names. I found Grandma Garrido ... I found Grandpa Garrido! I found some of the Taitano family in Agana and Baragada. Where was the rest of my Taitano family? I decided to look in Dededo ...

... AND THERE THEY WERE ...

a whole bunch of them, all on Papan Batchit's ranch ... including:

• My Great-Grand Father - Juan SN Taitano (Papan Batchit) - 54
• My Great-Grand Mother - Rosario F Taitano (Mama Ling) - 50
• My Grand Father - Carlos F Taitano - 29
• My Grand Mother - Joaquina L Taitano - 23
• My Uncle - Carlos L Taitano - 7
• My Uncle - Juan L Taitano - 5
• My Aunt - Rosita L Taitano - 3
• My Aunt - Esther L Taitano - 2
• My Dad - Jose L Taitano - 4 months old

It was around 3:00 AM ... I screamed ... I cried ... I sobbed some more ... I called my Dad on the West Coast ... and I cried again. It was hard to put it into words ...

It was no disrespect, at all to Grandma Garrido, her sister, the only Grandma I've ever known, who raised my Dad ... who raised a lot of the kids during that time ... NO WAY ... NEVER ... in fact, there are not enough words in this world to describe the love and respect and devotion I have for this wonderful woman.

To me, it was my way to remember Joaquina ... remember, there are no pictures, no records left after the war ... no gravesite ... nowhere to leave a flower or memorium ... no place to honor HER and say, "YES, you are the mother of THESE children, the wife of THIS man ... YOU EXISTED ... YOU MATTER ... and you're my Grandma, too, I have not forgotten that fact!" ... this census STILL makes me cry, as I type this ... it's the last piece of paper ... the last record we have of this intact family ... of Joaquina with her family surrounding her ... with all of the kids with their birth names. It's like a family picture ... the last family portrait ever taken of this family when they were all together ...

I talked to my Dad's wife, the next day, after I sent the pages of the Census to them. She said that he didn't sleep at all that night. She said that he stayed up all night looking at them. It makes me wonder what my 72-year-old Dad must have been feeling while he looked at those pages ... at all of those names on those 2 pages ... with his birth name written there for all to see ...

I hope he knows what a labor of love this was for me ... what this continues to be for me ... what researching the family tree, and genealogy in general, continues to be for me ... but I did do this for him ... and for his siblings ... and for the children and grandchildren ... but primarily for my Dad ... and for Grandma Joaquina.

... and I'm still in tears as I go back to re-read and edit this ... :::sigh:::